Posted in Personal

My childhood memories 

It was a cold winter morning, and after a hot cup of tea, I sat beside the window. The chill in the air gave me goosebumps, but I was enjoying every bit of it. I was at my childhood home, the place where I grew up and became the person that I am today.

As I was looking at the kids playing on the ground, I remembered my childhood days..

How I would run out of the house as soon as it was evening, how I would play hopscotch, catch and cook, hide and seek, colour colour, red letter and what not with all my friends!

I also remember how I used to hate eating food, and my mom had to literally sit with me for atleast an hour or so to make me eat one chapati; and how I would go and spit it out when she wasn’t looking!!

I remember a few of my fancy dress competitions in school, where I was dressed as a butterfly, a matchbox and even mother India once!!

I remember my friend from the opposite building whose name I would yell from my window and she would yell mine from hers!

I remember an earthquake that had hit our city, how the furniture was shaking, how scared I was, but luckily no one got hurt..

I remember, how while running around the house, I had pushed the table on which the television was kept and it shattered into pieces!! The good thing that happened at that time was that we graduated from black and white to colour TV!!

I remember how I used to come running from school to watch ‘popeye the sailor man’, ‘the road runner’, ‘Dennis the menace’, and ‘Tom and jerry’!!

I also remember the floods which had hit our city, how everything in our house was destroyed in that, as we were on the ground floor; how we picked up of what was left and started all over again..

I remember the sports days in my school in which I would only win in the ‘lemon and spoon’ race.

I remember the petty fights that I used to have with my younger brother over various games like snakes and ladders, ludo and chess!!  And then, he would come to me and pull my nose and say ‘chabbu chabbu'(both of us still don’t know what it means!!). And now looking back in time, I realise that how fast we gave grown up.. I have two kids now and he’s also going to get married.

I miss my childhood days so much..

If I could, I would put my memories in a penseive and live them all over again, like in Harry Potter!!

I din’t realise the tears in my eyes until my mom asked me , “What’s wrong? Why are you crying? ” I simply nodded and told her what I was thinking about.

She told me, “You know, I still can’t believe that you are a mother now. For me, you are still that little girl who runs out of the house in the evening to play..”

How true she was!! As parents, our kids will always remain kids for us, no matter how big they become, even if they get married and have their own children.

I consider myself very lucky to have had such a wonderful childhood, the memories of which are as fresh as ever, and which I can share with my boys when they are a little older and probably with my grandchildren too!!                 Material things come and go, but memories last forever.

I would too, along with my husband, try my best and give my children a wonderful childhood, the memories of which they can cherish and pass on forever!!

Dedicated to my parents.. 

Pic courtesy : Google images

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.

Advertisements
Posted in mom's life, Parenting, Uncategorized

When I played ‘snakes and ladders’ with my son

 

The other day, as I was cleaning the cupboards, I came across a game of snakes and ladders. I was very excited to see it, it brought back some really awesome memories of my childhood. Then I thought why not play a game with my 3 year old son..

Then I began the search for the dice and the coins.. After searching all possible nooks and corners, I finally emerged as a winner! I managed to find the dice and two coins. ” That would be enough for both of us”, I thought.

After putting my younger one to sleep, I got my son to sit down with me and explained it to him as to how to play the game. I told him,”See, this is the dice. See, there are all numbers on it. Say, dice?”

He said,”Diaass.”

I was like,”OK.  Not bad. Now, see these are the coins. We’ll keep them here.” I showed him the start point and kept the coins there. Then I told him,” Now, Mamma will roll and throw the dice. Whatever number comes on it, we’ll move the coins ahead. If the coin lands on the snake, we’ll have to bring it down. And if it lands on the ladder we’ll take it up. Ok?” I explained it to him about 3-4 times. Then when I felt he has understood it, we started.

So, I started first. I moved the coin to 3 according to the dice.

Now, it was his turn.

This is how he played the game :

Step 1: Rolls and throws the dice, but picks it up again before it stops.

Step 2: Rolls and throws again, this time a little harder, but not satisfied with his attempt, picks it up again.

Step 3: Throws harder this time, knocking off the coins from the board. But not happy with his throw, he again picks up the dice.

Step 4: Throws the dice really hard, so that it rolls and goes under the cupboard. Now he’s very happy!! Looks at me with pleading eyes to get the dice. So I get a broom, remove it and give it to him.

Step 5: Repeats steps 1-4 atleast three more times.

Here, as I am trying very hard to control myself, he gets up, looks at me, smiles and runs away.

Left speechless with his stunt, I decide to look at the positive side of it. At least he sat in one place for an entire 30 minutes! And the maid finished her work uninterrupted for once! And my younger one slept peacefully without any one pulling his cap or tickling him!!

Hurrah! What an achievement!!

And so I continued with my daily routine, after keeping the snakes and ladders game, along with the dice and the 2 coins safely in the cupboard and promising myself to hunt for the remaining coins when time permits!

After that day, he asked me for the game everyday and very obediently sat in one place rolling the dice and admiring the snakes and ladders! Only, the time for which he sat reduced from 30 minutes on the first day to 5 minutes by day 5.!!

Nevertheless, I still have a wonderful time ‘playing’ snakes and ladders with him!!

Pic courtesy : Google images 

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 

 

Posted in health issues, Parenting, Uncategorized

The other woman

Atul was very excited to come back to his city. After one month of travel, he was looking forward to meet her. During his entire flight he was only thinking about her. How he could drown in those beautiful blue eyes of hers! He longed to caress her long hair, and to touch her soft skin! In spite of talking to her everyday, he was not satisfied. He wanted to hold her desparately. She was ‘his’ Ananya, an angel in disguise for him.

As he landed at the airport, he thought he would first meet her. He called Akshita, his wife, and told her he would run some errands and then come home. Akshita was also fine with it as she had to pick up their daughter from school. What a wonderful woman she was! In a decade old marriage of theirs, she was always very understanding and very hardworking. She had started working from home to support him. He loved her too, but Ananya was very different. Ananya had entered his life 6 years back, and it was love at first sight!

On routine days, after finishing his work duties, he would divide his time between Akshita and Ananya. He knew he was a selfish man, he loved both of these women, and he couldn’t ignore either of them.

So, as he took a cab to meet Ananya, he was thinking about what gifts should he give to both the women in his life. He bought a bouquet of red and yellow roses for Akshita as she loved those. As for Ananya, he bought her a multi coloured scarf. She had half a dozen scarves already, but not a multi coloured one. He was dying to see her reaction!

Finally, he arrived at his destination. He looked at his brand new ‘fossil’ watch that was a gift from Akshita, it showed 4 pm. Five minutes later, he heard her calling to him.
“Papa, papa..” She yelled. Atul was over the moon on seeing her!! Her beautiful white hair was covered in a sky blue scarf and as usual she was wearing her special uniform that covered her completely.

 Atul and Akshita were taking all the precautions so that she doesn’t have any discomfort. Ananya had albinism; she was born with white hair, white skin and blue eyes. She was very photosensitive and her parents had to be extremely cautious, so that she wouldn’t get sunburns. She dint like covering her eyes with sunglasses, so she would wear colorful scarves over the head; it protected her hair and eyes as well.

As Atul and Ananya were hugging each other,   Akshita came running thinking she was late to pick Ananya from school. She was pleasantly surprised to see Atul there. ” I thought you had some other work, that’s what you told me from the airport”, she said.

“Well, I couldn’t resist meeting my other woman first!!” Atul replied.

Atul gave his two women the gifts that he had got. Ananya was very happy to see the multi coloured scarf which she promptly exchanged with her sky blue one.

Then, after hugging each other, they went home to start a new day.

Atul was very happy to be with the two women in his life, whom he loved very dearly. He was finally home.

P.S: Albinism is a genetic condition in which the skin lacks the pigment melanin. It is of different types. In the most common type of albinism, those affected have white skin and hair and blue translucent eyes. They are very photosensitive and are prone to skin cancers. They have a normal life span and a normal IQ as well. They usually feel alienated because of the difference in their appearance compared to their family and peers.


Pic courtesy : Google images

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform

Posted in health issues, Parenting, Uncategorized

A failed mom?

Archana was elated when the pregnancy test came positive. She was waiting for this day to come again; the tears of joy, the happiness on the face of her husband, Arjun and the excitement of her inlaws, it was like a rewind of her first pregnancy!!

She had a son, Jai, who was almost 3 years old now. She felt as if it was just yesterday when he was born. All his milestones were like a picture in her memory. His first step, his first word, wow, she was really excited and happy to be going through it again. She had always wanted two kids. And now her dream was going to come true.

She went through her pregnancy smoothly. She had a very good support system, Arjun, her inlaws and her parents were all looking forward for arrival of the new baby. Archana and Arjun were constantly explaining to Jai about his new brother/sister. He was very excited and would point to his mom’s belly and show his dad that there’s a baby in there. He would also kiss her belly.

All in all everything was going well.

At the end of her pregnancy, Archana delivered a healthy baby boy. His first cry brought tears in her eyes and at the same time she was also smiling. What a beautiful boy he was!! That feeling when he was kept on her tummy was indescribable!! Everyone in the family was happy, all were in a celebratory mood.

Jai was initially scared to come to Archana, as he was wondering what happened to his Mamma!! But, Arjun explained to him that his Mamma was fine, so he was alright again.

The problems started after Archana came home. She made sure she spent most of her time with Jai, as he should not feel left out. Arjun would also take him out everyday. But a couple of days later, Jai started behaving very differently. He wouldn’t eat well, keep throwing tantrums and he would come and hit his younger brother every now and then.

Seeing this, Archana would lose her cool. She started yelling at Jai, and almost hit him a couple of times. She started getting emotionally unstable, would cry every now and then. This was affecting the care of her younger one. Arjun, her inlaws and her parents kept reassuring her that things would be fine. But she just couldn’t  control herself. She kept crying, yelling and repeatedly questioning herself, ‘have I failed as a mom?’ .

She loved both her kids immensely, but she couldn’t help it where all these thoughts were coming from. She was very anxious and worried about Jai’s behaviour. She sometimes felt that she shouldn’t have got a second child.

As Archana was very disturbed with all this, Arjun decided to consult her doctor. The doctor then explained to Archana that she needs to keep calm. He told her that she has a very good support system and she needs to be patient with Jai. Yelling at him would make things worse. He would become more stubborn and the cycle would repeat. Also, it was a difficult time for Jai too. Although he was explained throughout the pregnancy about his new sibling, he too was anxious when he sees his mother holding a new baby. He too feels that he’s not getting as much attention as before.

After the doctor’s visit, things started to get better. Archana got rid of all her negative emotions and learnt to be calm. Every one at home supported her immensely, so that she could come out of this easily. Jai’s behaviour improved as Archana started to be calm. She showered as much attention and love as she could, to him. She realised that she had not failed as a mom, but the circumstances were such that she had got all these things in her head. Being patient definitely helped her.

Such a thing could happen to even the strongest of us. The period post delivery is a very trying period especially for the mother and more so if it’s a second child, as the mothers constantly inhabit irrational fears about the well being of the elder child. It is important to recognize these signs and seek help if it’s persisting for a longer period and affecting the care of the children.


Pic courtesy : Google images

Author’s note : This post has first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.

Posted in Parenting, Uncategorized

She’s scared to go home!

It was a usual day in Pooja’s third A class. A bunch of 8 year olds looking at her with anticipation as to when their roll numbers would be called and they would shout,”Present Miss”.

As Pooja was calling out the roll numbers, she again noticed that Tia, one of her bright students, was sitting on the last bench by the window and all alone. Normally, a very active participant in all class activities, Tia had become withdrawn since the last 2 months or so. Even Tia’s friends had once told Pooja that she doesn’t talk much these days.

After the class got over, Pooja went to Tia and asked her, “What’s the matter child? You can tell me.”

Tia just told her, “I’m scared to go home.” And she started sobbing. Pooja tried to console her and then took her to Shruti, one of the counsellors of the school.

At the end of the day, Shruti asked Pooja to arrange a meeting with Tia’s parents.

The next day, a very anxious Nisha and Rohan Mehta came to meet Pooja, who then sent them to meet the counsellor. As they were seated across Shruti, she began,” Good morning, Mr and Mrs Mehta. I’m Shruti, one of the counsellors in the school. Yesterday, Tia’s class teacher got her to me crying uncontrollably. When I spoke to her she told me that she’s scared to go home. Do you know the reason why?”

Nisha and Rohan were very shocked to hear that. Nisha said,”But how is it possible ma’am? Tia is our only daughter and we both love her a lot. There’s no one else at home. And the maid does her work while Tia is at school. Also, I personally come to pick her and drop her to school.”

Shruti said, “Okay, you are taking adequate measures to protect her from physical abuse. But what about mental abuse?”

Rohan then asked, “What do you mean by that ma’am?”

“Haven’t you both noticed any differences in her lately?”, Shruti asked.

Nisha said, “Yes, she’s quieter than usual. And very moody. Sometimes, she cries for no reason at all. But I dismissed this thinking she must have fought with her friends at school or she must have done some mistakes in her homework. She likes to be perfect in everything.”

Shruti then said,”Do you know what else she told me? She said that mom and dad are constantly shouting at each other..”

Both Rohan and Nisha were quite embarrassed on hearing that.

Rohan said, “Yes, that is true. We are having financial issues these days and the stress of it gets to us. So we end up fighting with each other a lot.”

Nisha added, “Yes. It sometimes becomes very nasty and we end up in a horrible verbal abuse..”

Shruti then said, “So atleast you both accept that you fight. But your war of words is affecting Tia’s young and innocent mind in a way you cannot even imagine. She thinks that today you both are yelling at each other, tomorrow you will yell at her too. That is why she’s getting scared. She’s slipping into the early stages of depression. Her withdrawal from her surroundings, her constant mood swings, no interest in the things she normally loved doing; all these point to that.”

Nisha and Rohan were visibly upset. “What do we do now?”, Nisha asked.

“You both need to tone down a little. I agree that there are various problems in all households. But I think you can choose to sort it in a more amicable way. You both are educated adults. Sort out your differences in a more civilised way rather than shouting and spoiling your daughter’s future. You both will have to really work hard for this before her condition worsens. And I will be talking to her everyday so that she will tell me whether you guys are improving or no.” Shruti replied.

Rohan and Nisha left after promising Shruti to try their best and help Tia overcome her fear and bring back the cheerful girl that she was before.

Depression is on the rise in children and teenagers. We know the common causes like sexual abuse, physical and cyber bullying and substance abuse among others. But a disturbed family environment is also one of them. 

So the next time when you fight with your spouse in front of your kids, do keep this in mind. 

Pic courtesy : Google images 

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 

Posted in mom's life, Parenting, Uncategorized

Oh no! I’m the MOM now!!

Every morning when the alarm rings and as I wait for mom to wake me up, I realise.. Oh no! I’m the MOM now!

Then, as I enter in the kitchen to ask mom for breakfast, I realise; oh no! I’m the MOM now. 

As the kids get ready to go to school and ask for their tiffin,  I realise.. Oh no! I’m the MOM now.

Now, it’s time for me to go to work and as I am about to ask for my packed lunch, I realise.. Oh no! I’m the MOM now.

Then back home, when I ask my kids to do their homework with mom, I realise.. Oh no! I’m the MOM now.

Then when I tell them, let’s go down and play with mom, I realise.. Oh no! I’m the MOM now.

As dinner time approaches, I wait for mom to call us for food and I realise.. Oh no! I’m the MOM now.

Exhausted, as I go off to sleep and wake up again to a crying child, I say, “Mom, please make the baby sleep.” And I realise.. Oh no! I’m the MOM now.

Then, in the morning as my kids hug me and kiss me and go off to school, I realise.. Oh yes! I’m the MOM now. 

With each passing day, as I look forward to the new things they have to tell me, I realise.. Oh yes! I’m the MOM now. 

Then, when I keep experimenting to cook something new everyday, I realise.. Oh yes! I’m the MOM now.

When I get the jitters for my kids’ first performance on stage, I realise.. Oh yes! I’m the MOM now.

And just to imagine them get excited to see the toys that I get for them, I realise.. Oh yes! I’m the MOM now.

Then when out of the blue they come and give me a kiss, I realise.. Oh yes! I’m the MOM now.

As I go off to sleep, and they cuddle next to me, I realise.. Oh yes! I’m the MOM now.

And then, when those magic words, “I love you mom”, lift up my mood; I realise.. Oh yes! I’m indeed the MOM now.!!


Pic courtesy : Google images 

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 



Posted in Parenting, Uncategorized

The side effects of having two kids!!

Once upon a time, in a far away land, there was a merchant. Theirs was a very happy family enjoying their everyday life. But one fine day, the merchant’s wife came to me and asked for help. [Now you may wonder, that why in a far away land, some lady would ask me for advice, right? So let me introduce myself, I am the ‘Queen’ in this hypothetical far away land ;)]

She told me,”Please, Your Highness, help me with this. I just don’t know what to do.”

I heard her problems very patiently and then I told her that she’s suffering from the side effects of having two kids.

Now, what were these side effects? Let me brief you in short..

1. The Crazy fever: Most of the time, you are running around the house going crazy, doing the never ending chores, chores and chores. And you may also look crazy at times with scattered, wild hair and black discolouration under the eyes.

2. Loose Temper: Instead of loose motions, you have loose temper, with your temper flying left, right and centre at the drop of a hat!

3. Loo phobia: There will be a time atleast once in your life, when you are alone with the two little ones and you desparately want to go to the loo. And even if you instruct them strictly to behave themselves for those 2-5 minutes, you always get a surprise after coming out!! And then what happens is you are scared to go to the loo leaving them unattended!!

4. Boarding school mania: Sometimes you may make a list of all the boarding/residential schools around and may be also enquire about the same. You decide that you will send atleast one of the two to a boarding school. But ultimately you don’t end up sending either because even if they trouble you to your wits’ end, you can’t see them away from you!!

So, the merchant’s wife then asked me,”What do I do about it, Your Highness?”

I gave her a nice hug and told her, “Well, my dear lady, I can absolutely empathise with you coz I’ve been through it and the only piece of advice that I can give you is to be patient. They are too young now. Time is all that you need.”

So, my dear ladies and gentlemen, whichever generation you are in, you’ll go through these side effects. But don’t worry, laugh your way through it and you will live happily ever after!!

P.S: These side effects can occur even with a single kid 😉

Happy reading!!

Pic courtesy: Google images

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.