Posted in mom's life, Parenting

Tell me more, why why why?

It’s been three and a half years since I was blessed with my first son and I embraced motherhood.

The first year with him was terrifying yet amazing. Learning to breastfeed him and later learning to wean him off! From changing his diapers to bathing him, from charting all his ‘firsts’ to see him grow every single day has been an amazing journey.

Then came the next two years or the infamous toddler years. Sweet mamma became monster mamma. From yelling to throwing things to crying; we did them together! He started running, talking and talking and talking. Mamma stopped talking, but he would never and still doesn’t.

Now, in his fourth year, he thinks mamma is a living encyclopedia. So, everyday mamma has to brace herself for the storm of questions that may come her way absolutely out of the blue and at the most unexpected times. Sometimes, I literally dread his questions!

“Mamma, why is it raining?”

“Why did the rain stop?”

“Why is the sky blue?”

“Why is the crow black?”

“Why do we sleep?”

“Why do we eat food?”

Tell me more.. Why why why?

So, each day when I’m bombarded with all such questions, I try my best to answer them. And those which I can’t, I tell him that mamma will tell you tomorrow. I do not want to feed him the wrong information as it is very difficult to unlearn at their age. Sometimes, I feel like diverting him to his dad, but then I avoid doing that as he expects me to tell him the answers. Of course I help him to ask some amazing questions to his dad as well. ūüėČ

Recently, he has learnt a new thing. Whoever goes to pick him up from school, he asks ‘why this person has not come’? For example, if his grandfather goes to pick him up, he will ask that why mamma din’t come? If I go to pick him up, he will ask why papa has not come? And so on.

In school, they are being taught to write standing lines and sleeping lines. So now, he comes home and asks me, “Mamma, why are standing lines standing?” And also, “Why are sleeping lines sleeping?”

And I’m left dumbstruck with his questions.

So here, I take your leave to figure out the answers to his amazing questions! Adios!

 

Pic courtesy: Google images

Author’s note: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.

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Posted in mom's life, Parenting

When my son taught me ‘sharing is caring’

When my elder son had turned two, we had him enrolled in a playschool and from that time onwards, they were taught concepts of sharing. Right from sharing toys to their snacks; they were taught everything.

And then as he entered nursery, the concepts were reinforced. And additionally, he assumed the role of an older brother. So, it was drilled into him that he should share his toys with his younger one.

But, he only shared his stuff when he was in the mood to. And we did not pressure him either. And he shares his stuff only when he is requested to do so and not forced. 

I would like to explain this with an example.

He has about a dozen or so collection of cars of various sizes. So when I tell him to give a few of them to his younger brother, he refuses flatly. “These are all mine.” He says.

On the other hand, when I tell him, “Please, dear. See he is your younger brother. He is so small. Give him one or two cars to play with. Atleast for some time? Please will you share them with him?” After about 5 minutes, he willingly gives his cars to his brother and tells me, “See mamma, I’m sharing my toys!” And all of us are happy!

Similarly, even when we are out, say on a beach and he is playing with his sand toys, a few kids who do not have them come and try to take the bucket or the spade. So I simply tell them to not take the toys forcibly and instead just sit around for some time. And then, my son willingly shares those sand toys with the other kids. Again, everyone is happy and he has new friends to play with too!

One day, my mom had come over to play with the kids. And as I was searching for some ingredients to make her something, I came across a gulab jamun which was the only one remaining. Ideally, I should offer it to my mom, as she was the guest. But, there was only one gulab jamun remaining and it was too tempting to resist. As I was contemplating what to do, my mom came in the kitchen. And she saw it too. Both of us are mad behind sweets. As soon as she took it, I yelled, “No! That’s mine!”

For a moment, she was shocked as to what happened. But then she realised why I was shouting. And we both started arguing as to who should eat it. Hearing all the commotion in the kitchen, my elder son came in. And when he saw what we were fighting about, he did something exceptional.

He took the gulab jamun and broke it into two halves. He gave one to me and the other to his nani. He looked at me and told me, “Sharing is caring mamma! Remember?” And he went off to do his stuff.

Both of us were speechless at what he did. It was so heartwarming to see him do that. I was so proud of him!

I would like to sincerely thank his playgroup and nursery teachers for instilling this concept in him so well that he actually implemented it in a real life situation!

 

Pic courtesy: Google images

Author’s note: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.

Posted in mom's life, short story

Are you having an extramarital affair?

After a really long time, I was finally going to catch up with my childhood friend, Neetu. We had decided to meet at a nearby cafe near our school. Both of us were very excited to see each other. It had been years since we last met, though we were constantly in touch with each other through calls and messages. 

As I entered the cafe, I spotted her in a light blue dress and looking as radiant as ever. We hugged each other and both of us were bubbling with joy upon seeing each other. Then we started talking about what all we missed in each other’s life in the past few years. I told her about my crazy days managing two boys and my profession. Neetu was a dentist by profession, and was very good at her work. But, for an otherwise chirpy girl, she was unusually quiet that day.

I asked her, “Neetu, are you alright?”

There were tears in her eyes when I asked her that.

“Neetu, please tell me what’s wrong? You can share what ever you want with me dear.”

“Arva, you know what, I’m sick and tired of my life.. At every point in my life, there’s someone or the other ready to taunt me and interfere in whatever I do. I just can’t take it anymore.”

I then told her, “Please calm down Neetu, and tell me what exactly is the problem.”

“You know Arva, now I can’t even talk to my guy friends freely, thanks to my so called extended family. Gaurav, even though is my husband and has no problem with that, but the others definitely do. I have a very good friend, Vishal, he is actually the husband of Gaurav’s cousin. We keep calling each other every now and then and we also chat on WhatsApp almost everyday. We share our day to day banters and we have many common interests. So we enjoy talking to each other. So, once in a family gathering, my mother in law’s sister asked me in hushed voices that am I having an extramarital affair with Vishal? To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I mean how can she ask me something like that? I don’t care how she came to know that I even talk to him, but seriously? How can she judge me like that? Okay forget her Arva, what was more shocking was my mother in law then told me to stop talking to him. I reiterated that I haven’t done anything wrong and I will not stop talking to him. So, I left from there with Gaurav.”

Neetu continued,”Then, at home I told Gaurav everything that happened and I also told Priya, Vishal’s wife all that happened in the gathering. They both assured me that I have done nothing wrong and we can talk to each other to our hearts content. Then, after a few days, my mother in law told me that it’s high time that we have a baby now. As when I get a baby, I will not get time to talk to other girls’ husbands. I mean, how lame is that? Gaurav and me are married for 5 years, but we both are not ready for a baby still. What irks me more is the way they judge you. Befriending other guys even after marriage, not having a baby; are all my choices. If my husband has no issues with that, he doesnt judge me for my choices, then why does everyone else have to interfere? I’m so frustrated and annoyed by all this. And the way they look at me.. I can’t even describe.. like I have committed some sin!”

Neetu was visibly relaxed after she poured out her feelings to me. She said,”Thank you so much for listening to me Arva. I’m feeling much better now.”

“That’s what friends are for, dear. You don’t worry so much. Concentrate on your career and family. Don’t get upset with such things. People who matter to you know how you are, what you are. They know the truth. So why bother about others. Others will keep judging you for everything that you do; whether good or bad. They will not stop. So you don’t spoil your mood because of them. Ignore them. Trust me, I have been through all of this and much more. In fact; the day I stopped reacting to such people, they stopped judging me for my choices. And some still do, but I just ignore them. I only do what I want to do. So it is all upto you. Enjoy your life.”

Neetu was indeed much better after our conversation and we had a gala time reliving our childhood memories and school days. We then parted ways with more promises of catching up often and the next time, I was supposed to get both my kids with me! I wonder how will I manage that. Well, only time will tell.!

Pic courtesy : Google images 

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.¬†

Posted in mom's life, short story

The scariest minute of my life!!

After I got married, my husband would take me out for a walk in the evenings everyday, so that I would get acquainted with the area. And I really enjoyed those walks exploring the lanes and by lanes in the heart of the city.

So one evening, when my husband was out of town, I decided to go alone. I had left home just before sunset and was dressed in a loose kurta with pockets and jeans. I had intended to buy some fruits on the way back home.

I had a really good time looking at the various shops and restaurants. I even bargained at a vendor who was selling fruits and told him I will collect them on my way back home. I was so engrossed in exploring that I din’t realise when the twilight turned into night. Then, I decided to head back home.

But I must have taken a wrong turn as I found myself in an eerily quiet lane. When I saw the time, it was just 8 pm; but there wasn’t a single soul around. No street lights too. It was a totally commercial area, so I thought maybe that’s why it’s so quiet as all offices are shut. I had reached halfway through the lane by then. So I decided to turn around and go back to the main road. Suddenly, I heard some jingling sounds. So, I turned back to see. But there was no one.

As I started walking further, the jingling sound continued. Again, I turned back to see, but there was no one.

Now, I started sweating, and my heart rate began to rise. So, I increased my pace. The sound increased too. When I would stop, the sound would stop. I was literally jogging then and I could see the lights of the road just a few feet away; but the jingling sound also increased. I was extremely scared now. I had tears in my eyes as I couldn’t figure out what was happening. I sprinted those few feet onto the main road and I kept running paying no heed to the people, or to the traffic. I kept running until I reached home.

I was sobbing and panting when I entered the house. My mother in law got very worried looking at me soaked in sweat and tears and offered me a glass of water. She then told me to calm down and asked me what happened. I managed to tell her the incident in between sobs. Then she told me that I must have entered the ‘haunted lane’. She said that nobody goes there after sunset as weird incidents happen there all the time. I simply did not have the stamina to argue with her, so I went to my room to change.

As I started emptying the pockets of my jeans and Kurta, I saw that there were at least 15-20 five and ten rupee coins that came out from my Kurta pocket. I remembered putting them in the pockets as I had wanted to buy fruits and the vendors usually ask for change. That’s when I put two and two together and started laughing at my sillyness. My mother in law came to my room hearing me laugh as just seconds before I was crying. I then told her, “Don’t worry, I am not possessed by any evil spirit just because I entered that ‘haunted lane’. I figured out what that jingling noise was.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

I then told her, “Mom, I was wearing a loose kurta that had 15-20 coins in the pockets. And the lane was very very quiet. So what happened was, I heard those coins jingling. As I ran, they made more noise. And as I stopped, the sound stopped. So that was the secret of the jingling sound.”

But whether that lane was ‘haunted’ or no, I don’t know and I don’t want to know either, as that one minute that I was in that lane was the scariest minute of my life.!!

P.S.: The above blog is inspired by my late Nanaji, who had a similar incident during his younger days.


Pic Courtesy : Google images

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.

Posted in Personal

My childhood memories 

It was a cold winter morning, and after a hot cup of tea, I sat beside the window. The chill in the air gave me goosebumps, but I was enjoying every bit of it. I was at my childhood home, the place where I grew up and became the person that I am today.

As I was looking at the kids playing on the ground, I remembered my childhood days..

How I would run out of the house as soon as it was evening, how I would play hopscotch, catch and cook, hide and seek, colour colour, red letter and what not with all my friends!

I also remember how I used to hate eating food, and my mom had to literally sit with me for atleast an hour or so to make me eat one chapati; and how I would go and spit it out when she wasn’t looking!!

I remember a few of my fancy dress competitions in school, where I was dressed as a butterfly, a matchbox and even mother India once!!

I remember my friend from the opposite building whose name I would yell from my window and she would yell mine from hers!

I remember an earthquake that had hit our city, how the furniture was shaking, how scared I was, but luckily no one got hurt..

I remember, how while running around the house, I had pushed the table on which the television was kept and it shattered into pieces!! The good thing that happened at that time was that we graduated from black and white to colour TV!!

I remember how I used to come running from school to watch ‘popeye the sailor man’, ‘the road runner’, ‘Dennis the menace’, and ‘Tom and jerry’!!

I also remember the floods which had hit our city, how everything in our house was destroyed in that, as we were on the ground floor; how we picked up of what was left and started all over again..

I remember the sports days in my school in which I would only win in the ‘lemon and spoon’ race.

I remember the petty fights that I used to have with my younger brother over various games like snakes and ladders, ludo and chess!! ¬†And then, he would come to me and pull my nose and say ‘chabbu chabbu'(both of us still don’t know what it means!!). And now looking back in time, I realise that how fast we gave grown up.. I have two kids now and he’s also going to get married.

I miss my childhood days so much..

If I could, I would put my memories in a penseive and live them all over again, like in Harry Potter!!

I din’t realise the tears in my eyes until my mom asked me , “What’s wrong? Why are you crying? ” I simply nodded and told her what I was thinking about.

She told me, “You know, I still can’t believe that you are a mother now. For me, you are still that little girl who runs out of the house in the evening to play..”

How true she was!! As parents, our kids will always remain kids for us, no matter how big they become, even if they get married and have their own children.

I consider myself very lucky to have had such a wonderful childhood, the memories of which are as fresh as ever, and which I can share with my boys when they are a little older and probably with my grandchildren too!!                 Material things come and go, but memories last forever.

I would too, along with my husband, try my best and give my children a wonderful childhood, the memories of which they can cherish and pass on forever!!

Dedicated to my parents.. 

Pic courtesy : Google images

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.

Posted in mom's life, Parenting, Uncategorized

When I played ‘snakes and ladders’ with my son

 

The other day, as I was cleaning the cupboards, I came across a game of snakes and ladders. I was very excited to see it, it brought back some really awesome memories of my childhood. Then I thought why not play a game with my 3 year old son..

Then I began the search for the dice and the coins.. After searching all possible nooks and corners, I finally emerged as a winner! I managed to find the dice and two coins. “That would be enough for both of us”, I thought.

After putting my younger one to sleep, I got my son to sit down with me and explained it to him as to how to play the game. I told him, “See, this is the dice. See, there are all numbers on it. Say, dice?”

He said, “Diaass.”

I was like, “OK. Not bad. Now, see these are the coins. We’ll keep them here.” I showed him the start point and kept the coins there. Then I told him, “Now, Mamma will roll and throw the dice. Whatever number comes on it, we’ll move the coins ahead. If the coin lands on the snake, we’ll have to bring it down. And if it lands on the ladder we’ll take it up. Ok?” I explained it to him about 3-4 times. Then when I felt he has understood it, we started.

So, I started first. I moved the coin to 3 according to the dice.

Now, it was his turn.

This is how he played the game :

Step 1: Rolls and throws the dice, but picks it up again before it stops.

Step 2: Rolls and throws again, this time a little harder, but not satisfied with his attempt, picks it up again.

Step 3: Throws harder this time, knocking off the coins from the board. But not happy with his throw, he again picks up the dice.

Step 4: Throws the dice really hard, so that it rolls and goes under the cupboard. Now he’s very happy!! Looks at me with pleading eyes to get the dice. So I get a broom, remove it and give it to him.

Step 5: Repeats steps 1-4 atleast three more times.

Here, as I am trying very hard to control myself, he gets up, looks at me, smiles and runs away.

Left speechless with his stunt, I decide to look at the positive side of it. At least he sat in one place for an entire 30 minutes! And the maid finished her work uninterrupted for once! And my younger one slept peacefully without any one pulling his cap or tickling him!!

Hurrah! What an achievement!!

And so I continued with my daily routine, after keeping the snakes and ladders game, along with the dice and the 2 coins safely in the cupboard and promising myself to hunt for the remaining coins when time permits!

After that day, he asked me for the game everyday and very obediently sat in one place rolling the dice and admiring the snakes and ladders! Only, the time for which he sat reduced from 30 minutes on the first day to 5 minutes by day 5.!!

Nevertheless, I still have a wonderful time ‘playing’ snakes and ladders with him!!

Pic courtesy : Google images 

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 

 

Posted in health issues, Parenting, Uncategorized

The other woman

Atul was very excited to come back to his city. After one month of travel, he was looking forward to meet her. During his entire flight he was only thinking about her. How he could drown in those beautiful blue eyes of hers! He longed to caress her long hair, and to touch her soft skin! In spite of talking to her everyday, he was not satisfied. He wanted to hold her desparately. She was ‘his’ Ananya, an angel in disguise for him.

As he landed at the airport, he thought he would first meet her. He called Akshita, his wife, and told her he would run some errands and then come home. Akshita was also fine with it as she had to pick up their daughter from school. What a wonderful woman she was! In a decade old marriage of theirs, she was always very understanding and very hardworking. She had started working from home to support him. He loved her too, but Ananya was very different. Ananya had entered his life 6 years back, and it was love at first sight!

On routine days, after finishing his work duties, he would divide his time between Akshita and Ananya. He knew he was a selfish man, he loved both of these women, and he couldn’t ignore either of them.

So, as he took a cab to meet Ananya, he was thinking about what gifts should he give to both the women in his life. He bought a bouquet of red and yellow roses for Akshita as she loved those. As for Ananya, he bought her a multi coloured scarf. She had half a dozen scarves already, but not a multi coloured one. He was dying to see her reaction!

Finally, he arrived at his destination. He looked at his brand new ‘fossil’ watch that was a gift from Akshita, it showed 4 pm. Five minutes later, he heard her calling to him.
“Papa, papa..” She yelled. Atul was over the moon on seeing her!! Her beautiful white hair was covered in a sky blue scarf and as usual she was wearing her special uniform that covered her completely.

¬†Atul and Akshita were taking all the precautions so that she doesn’t have any discomfort. Ananya had albinism; she was born with white hair, white skin and blue eyes. She was very photosensitive and her parents had to be extremely cautious, so that she wouldn’t get sunburns. She dint like covering her eyes with sunglasses, so she would wear colorful scarves over the head; it protected her hair and eyes as well.

As Atul and Ananya were hugging each other, ¬† Akshita came running thinking she was late to pick Ananya from school. She was pleasantly surprised to see Atul there. ” I thought you had some other work, that’s what you told me from the airport”, she said.

“Well, I couldn’t resist meeting my other woman first!!” Atul replied.

Atul gave his two women the gifts that he had got. Ananya was very happy to see the multi coloured scarf which she promptly exchanged with her sky blue one.

Then, after hugging each other, they went home to start a new day.

Atul was very happy to be with the two women in his life, whom he loved very dearly. He was finally home.

P.S: Albinism is a genetic condition in which the skin lacks the pigment melanin. It is of different types. In the most common type of albinism, those affected have white skin and hair and blue translucent eyes. They are very photosensitive and are prone to skin cancers. They have a normal life span and a normal IQ as well. They usually feel alienated because of the difference in their appearance compared to their family and peers.


Pic courtesy : Google images

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform