Posted in Married life, mom's life, Personal, relationships

Hope and a few dreams…

I was merely twenty three years old when I got married. And I felt like I had suddenly been transported to a different world altogether. Being in courtship for almost a year and half, I had the feeling that adjusting to my future home shouldn’t be difficult. But then reality struck.

Staying with a family that is almost like a stranger to you was really tough. My in laws had a very laid back kind of lifestyle. And I was totally the opposite. I was literally struggling to get all the work done before I left for college (I had a few months of my internship left), but it just wasn’t working. That’s when Hope held my hand and told me, “You are more than a wife and a daughter in law in this family. Don’t worry about everything so much. Relax, let go. Things will be fine.”

Those words were like a breath of fresh air. I instantly felt lighter and happier. I concentrated on completing my internship and finally got my degree.

It was a dream of mine to study further. But, I was in a dilemma. Whether to study further or start a family. Husband had left the decision to me. He would support me in whatever I decided. I was stuck. That’s when Hope stepped in again. She said, “Live your dreams dearest daughter. Do what your heart desires.” Those words motivated me further to complete my post graduation.

Then my husband and I embraced parenthood. Each day, since then, has been a roller coster ride. I have my moments, some days happy, some days irritated to the core and some days I’m just in a la la land.

Hope has always been with me during my entire journey and she always encourages me to do more, to be more. When I was at home for a few months post my second baby, she encouraged me to do something that I love instead of moping around. That was when my dormant passion of writing got activated. And it has been blooming ever since.

Over the last few years, I have become aware that there’s so much more to my personality other than being a mother. Every day I see a new facet. Today, I’m a doctor, a home maker, a blogger and most importantly, a dreamer. I dreamt and tried my best to live my dreams. And I can’t thank Hope enough for that. She supported me enough so that I could live my dreams. I feel really blessed to have Hope in my life as my mother in law.

Now, it’s my turn. I always encourage her to do things that she loves. It’s not too late to do that either. There’s more to her too than just being a mother, a mother in law and a grandmother. She wants to be a fitness enthusiast and take up her hobbies of crochet and stitching more seriously. And I keep telling her, “It’s better late than never!”

What is your #MoreToMe facet? Do share in the comments section below.

Author’s note : This post first appeared on momspresso.

Pic courtesy : Google images

<a href="Suddenly“><a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/suddenly/”>Suddenly</a&gt;

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Posted in Married life, Personal, pregnancy

Confessions of a pregnant woman

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was bombarded with numerous tips and advice from my friends, relatives and other well wishers. Some of them were really helpful, whereas others were downright hilarious and a few even offending. I used to end up arguing with a few of them when they would tell me about what I should do and not do. The end result being an upset friend/relative and an upset me.

So, when I was pregnant again, I thought that the tips and advice will stop as I was an experienced mother. But no, it didn’t. So I chose to keep my mouth shut and rather thank them for their wonderful advice.

Let me take you through my journey of the three trimesters and the ‘wonderful’ tips that I received in the course. What I wished to answer them (but chose to go mute and smile) are in italics.

First trimester

‘Oh my God! Pregnant again? Congrats anyway. Why so fast? You should have taken more rest.

Yes, why not. Why don’t you make all my life decisions? A burden less for me, eh?

Look she’s sleepy and drowsy all the time. Looks like you are having a boy this time too!

Ah, here comes the old wives tales! Try looking after my older one while puking your guts out. Then we will see who is sleepy and drowsy! Ha!

Second trimester

Start eating more dear. You need to eat for two. We want a chubby baby!

I had heard this one last time too. How about you let me swallow my own saliva first?

Your elder one is so naughty. I think you should take as much rest as possible now. How will you manage otherwise? It’s going to be really tough.

Thank you for your ‘encouraging’ words. It won’t be tough. You don’t worry. You stay right next door, I’ll send my older one at your place for some time everyday. I’m sure you will help. Right?

Third trimester

You should start looking for a full time maid now. Things are going to get difficult as soon as the second one pops out!

Sure, the position is open. Are you interested?

I think your water broke. Your dress is wet from below. Let’s rush to the hospital. Hurry!

No, that’s not my water. There’s still a few weeks left. Don’t look at me like that. You din’t let me go to the bathroom on time. Sorry, I couldn’t help it!

Post delivery

Oh my God! Your second one is also a boy. Now what? You always wanted a girl. Are you going to plan for a third one again?

Oh yes, I will. But not ‘Until the sun rises in the west and sets in the east’. What? Don’t stare at me like that. You’ve never heard it? Duh! This is a very famous dialogue that Daenerys Targarean tells her husband Khal Drogo in the Game of thrones. Go binge watch it now and don’t claw on my brains!!

Have you too received such pieces of advice in your pregnancy?

Do let me know in the comments section below!

Àuthors note: This post first appeared on momspresso.

Pic courtesy : Google images

Posted in Married life, mom's life, Personal

The weekend fear

 It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, and as I get up, stretch myself and look at the clock, I’m happy to see the time. It’s thirty minutes past nine, and I feel that it’s an achievement itself; I’m able to sleep so long without any interruption. Kids and husband are in deep sleep too! As I freshen up, I find a steaming cup of tea ready (courtesy mother in law). What a wonderful start to the weekend!

As husband and kids wake up, we settle for brunch with some parathas and pickle. Post that, we watch a movie as the kids are busy playing on their own. Then late afternoon, we take the kids to a nearby park, where they have their share of fun. This is followed by watching the sunset at the beach and then proceeding to a restaurant for dinner.

The same thing happens on Sunday, except the menu for brunch is different and for dinner, we order in instead of going out to eat. I’m so happy and content after a wonderful weekend that I’m looking forward to Monday morning and the week ahead. With those thoughts in mind and with a smile on my face I slip into a deep slumber.

How I wish my weekends are like this! All of the above only exists in my imagination! 

Here is what happens in reality.

It is a beautiful Saturday morning indeed, just not beautiful for me, as I feel someone pulling on my hair. I wake up groaning and look at the time, it’s thirty minutes past six! I look at my smiling toddler still content in pulling my hair and tell him, “Couldn’t you wait an hour more?” No matter, how thick the curtains are, a single ray of light is enough to wake him up! He says something in his toddler language and moves on to the next interesting object. There goes my dream of sleeping more! I then proceed to freshen up and as I emerge from the bathroom, I find my preschooler awake too, courtesy toddler. 

My cup of steaming tea is ready, courtesy mother in law. She’s an early riser, so she makes tea for everyone almost everyday. After managing to make a quick breakfast and feeding the kids, there’s a quick discussion between me and mother in law. What to make, how to make, etc etc. I really want to order something, but husband always insists on home made ‘exotic’ food atleast on Saturdays. It never turns out to be exotic. That’s a different story altogether. 

As I’m almost done with the food preparation, I take a peek in my room and find my husband blissfully sleeping. The clock reads 9.30. Now, my face turns green and I can feel smoke coming out from my ears and nose! I call my preschooler and put the toddler on bed and ask them to jump. The effect? Husband is awake in five minutes! I mentally hi-five myself and decide to do it at 7 am next time! I can be cunning sometimes!

Later in the day, as husband watches some thriller on TV, kids are busy playing with the grandparents, I decide to take a nap. The moment my head touches the pillow, the maid wants a half day. Ofcourse she wants to celebrate the weekend too. So, off she goes, and as the kids now decide to play with me, my dream of a small nap goes down the drain. And then, when it’s time to go out to the park, they doze off! And later, husband demands something different for dinner too! I want to tell him no, but when he shows me his puppy dog eyes, I cave in. Five days a week, he usually eats out and skips dinner half the time. So I can try to give him an ‘exotic’ home made meal for a day.

Sundays are more or less the same, except I refuse to cook dinner. We either go out or order in. The only good thing is we rarely have guests coming over. All our relatives are in the same city and anyone coming from outside, don’t prefer to stay with us as they have to  climb four flights of stairs with their luggage without any lift! (I do it three times a day, that’s the secret of my fitness). And add to that, two small boys who take the house on fire and create so much noise that even the airplane would be put to shame! 

Sometimes, I feel my weekdays are better. Even though I’m a working mother, I atleast get to spend time by myself in the mornings. I get to do things that I love doing, like reading the newspaper. Weekends are so hectic, I can’t even read the newspaper in peace! I literally fear weekends!

Very very rarely, we leave town on weekends. But we do go on impromptu picnics for a day. By Sunday night, I’m dead tired but in spite of all that, I  look forward to the coming week. And hope that maybe my next weekend would be slightly better in terms of mental peace and physical rest! For all the other things, I’m very thankful!

So moms, how are your weekends spent? Do let me know in the comments section below.

P.S: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 

Pic courtesy : Google images 

Posted in mom's life, Personal

5 things that changed in me post motherhood 

It’s been eight glorious years since I got married, and four years since I became a mother. Over the last decade I have seen myself transform from the very shy, introvert girl to a little less shy and a little more outgoing woman.

But there are a few things that have changed a lot since I became a mother.

1. Cooking skills: Before marriage, I hardly entered the kitchen. After marriage, I learnt to cook some basic stuff and after becoming a mother, I’m always in the kitchen! Every day I try to make something that looks more interesting and appealing to my kids. I still can’t make round chapatis though! But that’s alright I think, because my kids now know all their shapes extremely well. (even those that do not exist!)

2. Memory: Earlier, I used to be known for my photographic memory, but now? Phew! If I don’t make a list of ‘to do’ things for the day, I end up missing half of them! And the worst thing is, I forget that I have put something on the stove for cooking! The end result being burnt rice, spilled milk and other things which I cannot even describe. So, I have to make sure that I finish off my kitchen work before doing anything else. Also, the next time I forget your name, please excuse me!!

3. Fashion sense: Before motherhood, I enjoyed dressing up everyday. Of course I still do, but considering the presence of a preschooler and a toddler around me it becomes a herculean task! My fashion sense has transformed from ‘a lovely outfit with matching jewellery, a nice hairstyle and heels’ to ‘grab what I can outfit with no jewellery, hairstyle not interfering with line of vision and flats’! I know that is just a matter of time and once they are are little older, I can resume my fashion centric activities!

4. Patience: I’ve realised the true meaning of patience only after I became a mother. Earlier, I would be the one telling others to ‘be patient and calm down’ among other things. But now, I hear this almost everyday! Such a drastic change! I try very hard to control my temper every day, but sometimes it just blows. Blessed are those souls who can truly contain their anger and be patient with their kids!

5. Time management: I never knew I could multitask. Actually, it was never needed before. And not just simple multitasking. Literally following the hands of the clock on a minute to minute basis! Any delay of more than a minute affects the entire day. And also decreases my ‘me time’ which I simply cannot miss or else I would go insane! So, following the hands of a clock seems a better idea. It works most of the time. Some things are unpredictable, not in my hands, and since I can’t do much about them, I simply go with the flow! I feel that learning to manage my time is a gift that motherhood has given me.

So, what changes have you seen in yourself post motherhood?

Author’s note: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 

Pic courtesy: Google images 

Posted in Personal

My childhood memories 

It was a cold winter morning, and after a hot cup of tea, I sat beside the window. The chill in the air gave me goosebumps, but I was enjoying every bit of it. I was at my childhood home, the place where I grew up and became the person that I am today.

As I was looking at the kids playing on the ground, I remembered my childhood days..

How I would run out of the house as soon as it was evening, how I would play hopscotch, catch and cook, hide and seek, colour colour, red letter and what not with all my friends!

I also remember how I used to hate eating food, and my mom had to literally sit with me for atleast an hour or so to make me eat one chapati; and how I would go and spit it out when she wasn’t looking!!

I remember a few of my fancy dress competitions in school, where I was dressed as a butterfly, a matchbox and even mother India once!!

I remember my friend from the opposite building whose name I would yell from my window and she would yell mine from hers!

I remember an earthquake that had hit our city, how the furniture was shaking, how scared I was, but luckily no one got hurt..

I remember, how while running around the house, I had pushed the table on which the television was kept and it shattered into pieces!! The good thing that happened at that time was that we graduated from black and white to colour TV!!

I remember how I used to come running from school to watch ‘popeye the sailor man’, ‘the road runner’, ‘Dennis the menace’, and ‘Tom and jerry’!!

I also remember the floods which had hit our city, how everything in our house was destroyed in that, as we were on the ground floor; how we picked up of what was left and started all over again..

I remember the sports days in my school in which I would only win in the ‘lemon and spoon’ race.

I remember the petty fights that I used to have with my younger brother over various games like snakes and ladders, ludo and chess!!  And then, he would come to me and pull my nose and say ‘chabbu chabbu'(both of us still don’t know what it means!!). And now looking back in time, I realise that how fast we gave grown up.. I have two kids now and he’s also going to get married.

I miss my childhood days so much..

If I could, I would put my memories in a penseive and live them all over again, like in Harry Potter!!

I din’t realise the tears in my eyes until my mom asked me , “What’s wrong? Why are you crying? ” I simply nodded and told her what I was thinking about.

She told me, “You know, I still can’t believe that you are a mother now. For me, you are still that little girl who runs out of the house in the evening to play..”

How true she was!! As parents, our kids will always remain kids for us, no matter how big they become, even if they get married and have their own children.

I consider myself very lucky to have had such a wonderful childhood, the memories of which are as fresh as ever, and which I can share with my boys when they are a little older and probably with my grandchildren too!!                 Material things come and go, but memories last forever.

I would too, along with my husband, try my best and give my children a wonderful childhood, the memories of which they can cherish and pass on forever!!

Dedicated to my parents.. 

Pic courtesy : Google images

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.

Posted in mom's life, Personal

‘I used to tie my son at home’

The other day, as I was home alone with my two kids, I realised that how difficult it is for a single person to handle two little brats who are not even a quarter of their age!! My mother in law was out of town for a couple of days, husband was out of town for work and maid was on leave! And I was very confident that I will handle everything properly; the kitchen, the house, the kids and myself. But I guess I was living in a fantasy land, because when reality struck, it was a different scene altogether!! By the end of the day, everything was a mess! After I managed to put both my kids to sleep, and hubby also returned home in the night, I breathed a sigh of relief.

The next day, when the maid came, she was shocked to see the condition of the house! She asked me, “Kya hua yaha? Koi toofan aaya that kya?” (What happened here? Was there a storm?)

I told her, “Ha, toofan ke saath bhukamp bhi aaya tha..”(yes, there was an earthquake along with the storm too..)

And then I asked her that how did she manage to raise her kids alone. She was working with us for the last 20 years; and I knew that she had 4 kids- one girl and three boys. But I din’t know how hard she had worked to raise her kids to be what they were today. I actually saluted her after she was done with her story!

She got married at a very early age and was staying in a village near Karnataka. She got 4 kids, each after a gap of 2 years, the eldest one being a girl. But, when her husband lost his job and started abusing her, she left him. She then came to Mumbai, where she had some relatives. Her kids then were aged 8, 6, 4 and 2 respectively. She managed to get a shanty somehow using her relatives’ help. Then she started searching for work. She joined our house first and started with the housework. Gradually, she got more work. As she had saved up some money and with my mother in law’s help, she paid the rent for the shanty and enrolled her elder 2 kids in a local school.

When the eldest girl and boy would be in school, her 4 year old would be looked after by their neighbour, but she would keep her 2 year old son in her house only. I had asked her that why she din’t ask the neighbour only to look after him? But she said, that he’s too small and what if he runs out on the road. There’s so much traffic outside and the neighbours are already looking after one boy. So she told me, “Main uske ek pair ko rassi se baandh ke jaati thi..”(“I used to tie my son with a rope”) She then said that it was easier that way. The rope was long enough to help him move freely within the house. And he din’t understand how to remove the rope. She would go home in between her work and would feed him and check on him. Then, when her elder kids would return from school, they would look after him. This continued till the 4 year old was eligible for school too. Then, the youngest one would be looked after by the neighbour. After a couple of years, when all her kids would be at school, she increased her work and was able to earn more.

She told me, that her husband had come back to her after a few years and was asking for forgiveness. She did forgive him, but did not let him stay with her. He used to stay at some relative’s house.

She worked very hard to educate all her kids and that too all on her own and in a new city. Today, I can see the pride in her eyes when she tells me about her children. The eldest daughter runs a beauty parlour in the town where she stays with her husband and 1 year old son. The second and third son are married too and have kids and are working as executives in some company. The youngest is in college and wants to do MBA. Their socioeconomic status had catapulted from lower to middle class.

I then asked her that why does she work now. She can be at home and enjoy with her grandchildren. Again her answer surprised me. She says that since she has been working since so many years, she doesn’t like to sit at home. It is suffocating for her. She has reduced her work considerably and only works for us as my mother in law had helped her when she was in need. She says till she is fit and fine she will work. And she also says that she doesn’t want to be dependent on her children for her survival!

What an excellent example she has set! Hard work and determination can never fail. You always get results, if not sooner then later..

I had renewed respect for her after I came to know her entire story. And she really deserves a standing ovation! And I really applauded her for her courage and hard work!!


Pic courtesy : Google images 

Author’s note: This post has first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.