Posted in Married life, relationships, short story

Trapped!

Shraddha was sipping hot tea in the balcony of her plush two bedroom apartment overlooking the landscaped gardens of the complex where they resided. She was so lost in her thoughts that she did not realize when Sagar, her husband, left for work. This had become a routine thing since the last month or so. They hardly talked, and when they did attempt to communicate, Shraddha would lose her temper and the end result would be a nasty fight. It felt like both of them were treading over quicksand. A single wrong step and both of them would be caught in it with no one to save them.

Shraddha was constantly wondering that what went wrong in the seven year marriage of theirs. She wanted to try, and she did feel that she was the only one trying to save their marriage with no effort from Sagar’s side. The only force that kept her going was their five year old daughter, Aadhya. She din’t want to give up on her marriage just because of a few bad days.

She just could not understand that why the once madly in love couple had become so estranged that they couldn’t even be together in the same room without arguing. Both of them spent extra efforts to not talk to each other in spite of living under the same roof. In the mornings, Shraddha would make breakfast, send Aadhya to school, finish off her kitchen work, pack her lunch and leave for work. At work, she would deal with the problems of her clients and staff. During lunch time, she would pick up her daughter and drop her home with the maid and return to work. Her office, Aadhya’s school and their home was just a few minutes away from each other which was very convenient for all of them. Then, after a stressful day at work, she would be back home. In the late evenings, she would spend some time with Aadhya, cook dinner and later both mother and daughter would be off to bed. Although she had a maid at home, she preferred to cook her own food.

Sagar had a very different routine. He would be the first one to get up in the mornings and head for the gym. He would come home when Shraddha would be in the kitchen busy making breakfast, and he would spend some time with Aadhya, help her in dressing up. By the time he would freshen up, Shraddha would have left to drop Aadhya to school and he would have his breakfast. And when Shraddha would return, he would be getting ready to go off to work. He hardly had dinner at home since the last few days. Both of them were avoiding each other to the best of their abilities. On weekends too, Sagar would go to his office or go out with his friends or sometimes take Aadhya out for a movie. He would ask Shraddha too, whether she would like to accompany them, but she always refused.

Both of them were at a dead end.

But, Shraddha did not like this state of hers. She was feeling trapped with all the emotions bottled up inside her. She wanted to share everything with Sagar, but the fear of rejection from him was scaring her. She was overwhelmed with what was happening. She couldn’t take it any longer.

That day, when she was going to drop Aadhya to school, she saw a grandfather granddaughter duo walking in the park. Looking at them, she remembered her grandfather. How much she missed him!

Of all the family members, she was very close to her maternal grandfather. She would always go to him whenever she had any problem and he would solve it at the drop of a hat! “Where are you now, grandpa? My life is a mess, I need your help more than anything else now” she thought and started crying. She only had memories of him now, for he had passed away when she was eighteen.

Back home, as she got involved in the mundane tasks, she remembered her teenage years when she would be reprimanded for almost anything that she did by her parents. She never understood why she was being yelled at, or lectured for, because it was her normal teen behavior. Her grandfather would always listen to her and at that time he had told her something. Those words had always helped her overcome the hurdles that she faced.

“Life is an exam where the syllabus is unknown and the question papers are not set.” Her grandfather had told her. Those words had always given her hope and the power to conquer all her fears.

And then the sudden realization of her current state dawned on her. That’s when she decided that she wouldn’t give up on their marriage so easily. This was like an exam for her. She would fight for it until she passed. She wouldn’t be trapped in this state forever.

“First things first,” she thought. She sent an email to the HR department in her office saying she would be taking the week off. She felt a sense of relief as soon as she sent the mail. Next, she went to the salon and got a haircut for herself. “It’s high time that I do something good for myself” she thought. Then she took Aadhya to the park in the evening and later they had dinner in a restaurant nearby.

That night as Sagar came home early but exhausted, he was dreading to face Shraddha. He was confused by her mood swings. Initially he thought that maybe she was having premenstrual symptoms, but then they don’t last so long! She would not answer when he asked something and when he would press the matter, they would end up fighting. He just couldn’t understand what wrong he did.

Meanwhile, Shraddha came home with their little one and was surprised to see Sagar early. “Oh no! She thought. “I haven’t made dinner for him and forgot to get a parcel for him as well.” Mentally chastising herself for this silly mistake, she sat beside him on the couch as their daughter went to her room to play.

She held his hand and he looked at her and said, “You look nice.”

“Thanks for noticing.” She smiled through her tears.

“I’ve always noticed you, I thought you’ve forgotten about me these past few months.”

“I don’t know what changed, but let’s promise ourselves to make more effort from now on.” Shraddha urged.

“Yes, we should. I’m really sorry if I have hurt you intentionally or not.”

“Likewise.” Shraddha continued. “Let us go out of town for a few days. I think we need this family vacation. What say?”

“How can I say no to this wonderful proposition?”

They hugged, made their peace and were released from the imaginary trap of emotions that they had entangled themselves in.

We often face such situations in our lives where we feel that our partner doesn’t care anymore. Or he/she has fallen out of love. But, in reality, there’s nothing like that. Instead of trapping ourselves in our imaginary misunderstandings and playing the blame game, it’s better to let ourselves free and communicate. Talking with our partners is the key here. It may not solve all the problems, but we need to start somewhere, right?

Author’s note: This article first appeared as a Featured Post on Women’s Web.

Posted in Married life, mom's life, Personal, relationships

Hope and a few dreams…

I was merely twenty three years old when I got married. And I felt like I had suddenly been transported to a different world altogether. Being in courtship for almost a year and half, I had the feeling that adjusting to my future home shouldn’t be difficult. But then reality struck.

Staying with a family that is almost like a stranger to you was really tough. My in laws had a very laid back kind of lifestyle. And I was totally the opposite. I was literally struggling to get all the work done before I left for college (I had a few months of my internship left), but it just wasn’t working. That’s when Hope held my hand and told me, “You are more than a wife and a daughter in law in this family. Don’t worry about everything so much. Relax, let go. Things will be fine.”

Those words were like a breath of fresh air. I instantly felt lighter and happier. I concentrated on completing my internship and finally got my degree.

It was a dream of mine to study further. But, I was in a dilemma. Whether to study further or start a family. Husband had left the decision to me. He would support me in whatever I decided. I was stuck. That’s when Hope stepped in again. She said, “Live your dreams dearest daughter. Do what your heart desires.” Those words motivated me further to complete my post graduation.

Then my husband and I embraced parenthood. Each day, since then, has been a roller coster ride. I have my moments, some days happy, some days irritated to the core and some days I’m just in a la la land.

Hope has always been with me during my entire journey and she always encourages me to do more, to be more. When I was at home for a few months post my second baby, she encouraged me to do something that I love instead of moping around. That was when my dormant passion of writing got activated. And it has been blooming ever since.

Over the last few years, I have become aware that there’s so much more to my personality other than being a mother. Every day I see a new facet. Today, I’m a doctor, a home maker, a blogger and most importantly, a dreamer. I dreamt and tried my best to live my dreams. And I can’t thank Hope enough for that. She supported me enough so that I could live my dreams. I feel really blessed to have Hope in my life as my mother in law.

Now, it’s my turn. I always encourage her to do things that she loves. It’s not too late to do that either. There’s more to her too than just being a mother, a mother in law and a grandmother. She wants to be a fitness enthusiast and take up her hobbies of crochet and stitching more seriously. And I keep telling her, “It’s better late than never!”

What is your #MoreToMe facet? Do share in the comments section below.

Author’s note : This post first appeared on momspresso.

Pic courtesy : Google images

<a href="Suddenly“><a href=”https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/suddenly/”>Suddenly</a&gt;

Posted in Married life, Personal, pregnancy

Confessions of a pregnant woman

When I was pregnant with my first child, I was bombarded with numerous tips and advice from my friends, relatives and other well wishers. Some of them were really helpful, whereas others were downright hilarious and a few even offending. I used to end up arguing with a few of them when they would tell me about what I should do and not do. The end result being an upset friend/relative and an upset me.

So, when I was pregnant again, I thought that the tips and advice will stop as I was an experienced mother. But no, it didn’t. So I chose to keep my mouth shut and rather thank them for their wonderful advice.

Let me take you through my journey of the three trimesters and the ‘wonderful’ tips that I received in the course. What I wished to answer them (but chose to go mute and smile) are in italics.

First trimester

‘Oh my God! Pregnant again? Congrats anyway. Why so fast? You should have taken more rest.

Yes, why not. Why don’t you make all my life decisions? A burden less for me, eh?

Look she’s sleepy and drowsy all the time. Looks like you are having a boy this time too!

Ah, here comes the old wives tales! Try looking after my older one while puking your guts out. Then we will see who is sleepy and drowsy! Ha!

Second trimester

Start eating more dear. You need to eat for two. We want a chubby baby!

I had heard this one last time too. How about you let me swallow my own saliva first?

Your elder one is so naughty. I think you should take as much rest as possible now. How will you manage otherwise? It’s going to be really tough.

Thank you for your ‘encouraging’ words. It won’t be tough. You don’t worry. You stay right next door, I’ll send my older one at your place for some time everyday. I’m sure you will help. Right?

Third trimester

You should start looking for a full time maid now. Things are going to get difficult as soon as the second one pops out!

Sure, the position is open. Are you interested?

I think your water broke. Your dress is wet from below. Let’s rush to the hospital. Hurry!

No, that’s not my water. There’s still a few weeks left. Don’t look at me like that. You din’t let me go to the bathroom on time. Sorry, I couldn’t help it!

Post delivery

Oh my God! Your second one is also a boy. Now what? You always wanted a girl. Are you going to plan for a third one again?

Oh yes, I will. But not ‘Until the sun rises in the west and sets in the east’. What? Don’t stare at me like that. You’ve never heard it? Duh! This is a very famous dialogue that Daenerys Targarean tells her husband Khal Drogo in the Game of thrones. Go binge watch it now and don’t claw on my brains!!

Have you too received such pieces of advice in your pregnancy?

Do let me know in the comments section below!

Àuthors note: This post first appeared on momspresso.

Pic courtesy : Google images

Posted in Married life, mom's life, Personal

The weekend fear

 It’s a beautiful Saturday morning, and as I get up, stretch myself and look at the clock, I’m happy to see the time. It’s thirty minutes past nine, and I feel that it’s an achievement itself; I’m able to sleep so long without any interruption. Kids and husband are in deep sleep too! As I freshen up, I find a steaming cup of tea ready (courtesy mother in law). What a wonderful start to the weekend!

As husband and kids wake up, we settle for brunch with some parathas and pickle. Post that, we watch a movie as the kids are busy playing on their own. Then late afternoon, we take the kids to a nearby park, where they have their share of fun. This is followed by watching the sunset at the beach and then proceeding to a restaurant for dinner.

The same thing happens on Sunday, except the menu for brunch is different and for dinner, we order in instead of going out to eat. I’m so happy and content after a wonderful weekend that I’m looking forward to Monday morning and the week ahead. With those thoughts in mind and with a smile on my face I slip into a deep slumber.

How I wish my weekends are like this! All of the above only exists in my imagination! 

Here is what happens in reality.

It is a beautiful Saturday morning indeed, just not beautiful for me, as I feel someone pulling on my hair. I wake up groaning and look at the time, it’s thirty minutes past six! I look at my smiling toddler still content in pulling my hair and tell him, “Couldn’t you wait an hour more?” No matter, how thick the curtains are, a single ray of light is enough to wake him up! He says something in his toddler language and moves on to the next interesting object. There goes my dream of sleeping more! I then proceed to freshen up and as I emerge from the bathroom, I find my preschooler awake too, courtesy toddler. 

My cup of steaming tea is ready, courtesy mother in law. She’s an early riser, so she makes tea for everyone almost everyday. After managing to make a quick breakfast and feeding the kids, there’s a quick discussion between me and mother in law. What to make, how to make, etc etc. I really want to order something, but husband always insists on home made ‘exotic’ food atleast on Saturdays. It never turns out to be exotic. That’s a different story altogether. 

As I’m almost done with the food preparation, I take a peek in my room and find my husband blissfully sleeping. The clock reads 9.30. Now, my face turns green and I can feel smoke coming out from my ears and nose! I call my preschooler and put the toddler on bed and ask them to jump. The effect? Husband is awake in five minutes! I mentally hi-five myself and decide to do it at 7 am next time! I can be cunning sometimes!

Later in the day, as husband watches some thriller on TV, kids are busy playing with the grandparents, I decide to take a nap. The moment my head touches the pillow, the maid wants a half day. Ofcourse she wants to celebrate the weekend too. So, off she goes, and as the kids now decide to play with me, my dream of a small nap goes down the drain. And then, when it’s time to go out to the park, they doze off! And later, husband demands something different for dinner too! I want to tell him no, but when he shows me his puppy dog eyes, I cave in. Five days a week, he usually eats out and skips dinner half the time. So I can try to give him an ‘exotic’ home made meal for a day.

Sundays are more or less the same, except I refuse to cook dinner. We either go out or order in. The only good thing is we rarely have guests coming over. All our relatives are in the same city and anyone coming from outside, don’t prefer to stay with us as they have to  climb four flights of stairs with their luggage without any lift! (I do it three times a day, that’s the secret of my fitness). And add to that, two small boys who take the house on fire and create so much noise that even the airplane would be put to shame! 

Sometimes, I feel my weekdays are better. Even though I’m a working mother, I atleast get to spend time by myself in the mornings. I get to do things that I love doing, like reading the newspaper. Weekends are so hectic, I can’t even read the newspaper in peace! I literally fear weekends!

Very very rarely, we leave town on weekends. But we do go on impromptu picnics for a day. By Sunday night, I’m dead tired but in spite of all that, I  look forward to the coming week. And hope that maybe my next weekend would be slightly better in terms of mental peace and physical rest! For all the other things, I’m very thankful!

So moms, how are your weekends spent? Do let me know in the comments section below.

P.S: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 

Pic courtesy : Google images 

Posted in Married life, short story

The nagging husband

“Seema, I will drop you to your office today..”

“Seema, I will come with you for shopping.”

“Seema.. there’s not enough salt in the dal today..”

“Seema.. I’ll come to pick you up from office today..”

In the initial days after her marriage with Varun, Seema would feel very elated that her husband loves and cares for her so much. She was so excited when Varun offered to go shopping with her. She thought which husband would be willing to offer himself on a silver platter and that too decorated with flowers to go shopping with the wife! She was very happy. But the shopping trip turned to be a nightmare for her! After 4 hours of roaming 2-3 malls, she ended up buying nothing but a single dress! And she was so exhausted and angry. She had silently vowed never to tell Varun about her shopping plans!

As the months passed by, Seema realised that Varun was a nagging husband. He would interfere in everything that she did and that in turn would spoil Seema’s enthusiasm. Seema would argue with him and they would end up having nasty fights.

They loved each other a lot, but this behaviour of his was getting to her. She was losing her cool very often. She had to do something about it, she thought.

Slowly, she learnt how to deal with him. Her mother in law helped her a lot. She told her,”This nagging habit runs in all the men of this family..”

Seema learnt how to calm down and not reply to him. She would listen very patiently or at least pretend to but in the end she would only do she had decided.

Gradually, the scene improved. But, the nagging continued. It was like Varun was not ready to accept that what he does is called nagging. He would say, “I’m just trying to do everything perfectly. No mistakes absolutely..” But his strive for perfection was driving Seema nuts. And when she would point to him that what he’s doing is not being perfect, but nagging; they would end up fighting.

They were otherwise a very happy couple, deeply in love and enjoying their lives. As the years passed, Seema had gotten used to the nagging. She had stopped letting it bother her. And then, Pihu was born. The scene changed again. Her hormonal woes were adding to it. She would get irritated with anything that Varun would tell her, even if it was something good. Because she would feel that he is continuosly nagging her, she was going crazy. She was on the verge of a breakdown, when her mother in law stepped in again. She helped Seema to come out of her self induced depression and live her life. And within a few months, all was well again.

Varun had calmed down too. He would no longer harass Seema for every small thing. As much as she din’t want to lose him, he too loved and cared for her a lot to repeatedly hurt her due to his nagging behaviour. Although he would still not accept that it was nagging and not his strive for perfection!

But Seema finally learnt to live with her nagging husband.

So now, when Varun asks her, “Seema, come I’ll take you shopping..” She replies, “Oh no dear, why waste so much time when I can buy what I want at the click of a mouse..”

And then when he tells,”Come I’ll drop you to office”, she says, “Why do you want to waste your time when the office bus is already coming..”

“OK,  so I’ll pick you up from work today then?”

“Oh yes, sure.. we will go for a movie and dinner after that…”

And thus, Seema lives in peace!!

Pic courtesy : Google images 

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 

Posted in Married life, mom's life

A new ‘Mother- in- law’

In a couple of months, my mom is going to assume a new role; she’s going to become a mother in law!

Well, technically she already became one; when I got married. But now, she’s nervous!

Yes, you heard me right. She’s anxious and nervous to become a mother in law.

I had met her the other day, and she seemed quite restless like there was something on her mind and she din’t know whom to tell.

I know her very well, so I simply told her, “What is it mom? Just spill it already.”

“I don’t know what to tell you. Its like I’m getting butterflies in my tummy. I’m just so nervous about all this.” She said.

Initially I din’t understand what she was saying. So I told her, “I’m not getting you mom. Can you be more specific?”

Then she said, “Your brother is getting married. And I’m going to get a daughter in law. She will come to stay with us. How do I adjust? And how do I make her comfortable?”

“Relax mom. You don’t need to be nervous about it. It will surely take some time for both of you to get used to each other. Give her some space and just be yourself. I’m sure everything will be fine.” I said.

“Yes, I know that. But still. I’m not used to having anyone in the house after you got married. Both men go to work. It’s just me. What do I talk to her? What if she tells me something and I end up yelling at her. You know how short tempered I am!”

“Mom, you had me for 23 years! So you definitely cannot forget being with another female in the house. You consider her as your other daughter. Talk normally what you talk with me. As I told you before, just be yourself. And don’t worry I’ll prime her about your temper, so she won’t be scared in case you end up yelling at her!” I joked.

Both of us were heartily laughing as we were having this conversation.

“Yes, you are right dear. I’m just going to be myself and give her some space. And I’ll treat her as my daughter. Things will definitely be normal then.” She said.

“Yeah mom, you’ll make a lovely ‘mother’ like mother in law!” I told her.

How both of them bond after the wedding, only time will tell. It will be the result of the efforts put in from both their sides.

We often talk about all the adjustments the girl has to make after she gets married; but what about the boy’s family, specially his mother? Something to think about, eh?

 

Pic Courtesy: Google images

Author’s note: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.