As you know, I am a proud father to a beautiful daughter now. The other day I saw her throwing tantrums when her mom wanted to leave for work. As I saw her doing that, I remembered my days as a child.
When you went to work, Mom; I felt very miserable and lonely. Dada dadi were very loving and caring, but they could not replace you. I remember the tantrums I used to throw when you would leave to work. I know that in spite of working, your love and care for me never reduced. But, I was selfish. I wanted you all for myself only. I din’t want to share you with anyone or anything.
As days passed, Dada dadi would still encourage you to continue working saying that my tantrums would reduce with time. But, as I told you, I was very selfish; I increased the frequency and severity of my tantrums. Dad was very busy to look after me. Because of that, you had to stop working. You were happy initially, but a few months later, I saw you becoming sad with each passing day. Although physically you were with me, mentally you were somewhere else. Your smile never reached your eyes. No matter how cheerful you tried to be with me, I knew you were not fully happy. And I somehow felt responsible for it.
As I grew, I realised what I had done. I had taken four years of your happiness from you. I remember that day when I had told you, “Mom, you can go to work now.. I have full day school and then homework and other activities. You will be back by then”. You were so happy on hearing that. And you told me that you don’t want to work now. But I had insisted, literally forced you and then you relented.
I remember you resumed work after 6 months as you had told that it would be difficult to find work after a huge gap. But you finally did it. And I got my happy mom back. I could feel the excitement from you each day as you were looking for new challenges along with raising me and looking after everyone in the house.
Mom, today I want to say sorry to you for what I did. I was very naive at that time. I din’t realise that you were working very hard to support me and to give me a better future . And dad was hardly around. He too, worked very hard.
But, I am also thankful to you that you joined your work again. I learnt so many things in your absence. From doing my homework to household work, I learnt so much. And the confident young man that you see today is all because of you.
I couldn’t tell you all this before, as I din’t know from where to start. I’m writing this letter to you as I will not be able to speak to you without breaking down and you may not let me complete what I’m saying when you see me crying. But today as I saw the same thing happening to my wife, I couldn’t stop myself.
I will not let that same thing happen to her. I promise you that I will look after my daughter when she is not around. I will not make the same mistake that Dad made, because of which you had to suffer for those few years. I will let my wife pursue her dreams. Whether she wants to work part time, or full time, I will support her. And I will support our daughter emotionally too. I know this is a matter of time, but I won’t be able to see her losing her happiness even for a few years.
I love you, Mom. Thank you for making me so self sufficient and capable. I will try my best for our daughter too.
Your loving son.
Author’s note : This post has been first published on mycity4kids parenting platform.
Pic courtesy: Google pics.