Hope and a little patience

Hope was merely eleven years old when she lost her father. The third child amongst eight siblings and the eldest daughter, she had a whole lot of responsibilities at a tender age. Having lived her eleven years as a princess, she lost everything in a matter of days. But, she did not give up.

Hope supported her mother and her siblings very patiently and also managed to study upto 12th standard. She got married when she was 19.

In her new house, which was a huge joint family, initially she found it very difficult to adjust. But where would she go? With a widowed mother and four younger siblings to take care of, it was difficult. So she stayed there and decided to be patient. Things would improve with time.

She raised her two sons single handedly and along with household responsibilities, made sure that they did well in school. Her husband was always working for their better future and was hardly around to help her with the kids.

Her patience finally paid off a few years later when their socioeconomic status catapulted to an upper middle class. Now, they had the best of everything. Her sons were doing well, husband was around more and they were now in a nuclear family. But, that was the silence before the storm.

Hope was out for shopping, she wanted to buy an oven for her kitchen, when she got the news. She rushed home and was shattered. She had lost her twenty two year old son in an accident. She couldn’t believe it. 

She cried. For days. She felt numb, void.

But, she din’t lose her faith in the Almighty. She waited patiently as she believed that every dark cloud has a silver lining. She devoted her time in looking after her younger son who was twenty years old then. A couple of years later, I entered her life.

Yes, Hope is my mother in law. I have named her ‘Hope’ because that’s what she has taught me. Never to give up hope and be patient. She’s my inspiration. Whenever I face difficult times, she’s always there for me. And when she’s not around, I remember her struggles and that inspires me to never give up. She has taught me patience, a virtue which I believed I never had. 

Today, when she searches for her lost son in her grandson, it moves me immensely. She looks after him like her own son, and sometimes even more than me. I feel I’m blessed to have her in my life. And the way she patiently handles everyone at home, I can only pray that may the Almighty give me atleast fifty percent of her patience and my life would be much much easier!

She’s indeed an inspiration for me. I’m very lucky to have her as my mother in law. She treats me like her daughter and she’s like a second mom to me! 

Love you mom! 


Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.  

She’s always happy!!

Kumud and Saloni were sisters and although they had settled in different cities, they used to chat regularly and would also meet up once in a while. 

Both their husbands were managers in their respective firms and both were pure workaholics.

Kumud had a 8 year old daughter, while Saloni had a 6 year old son. Both of them were working part time; Kumud in a salon, and Saloni was a dance teacher.

Over the last couple of years, Saloni had noticed a drastic change in Kumud; from an always complaining, crying woman to a cheerful and bubbly person. She would always be happy. Whereas Saloni would always keep complaining about the missed date nights with her husband, Kumud had become totally the opposite. Saloni had been wanting to ask her sister whether the ‘happiness’ was just a mask under which something sinister was happening or was she genuinely happy. 

Not able to withhold her curiosity any longer, she finally went to meet Kumud. Kumud was in fact surprised seeing her sister out of the blue. “What do I owe your gracious presence for, your Highness Saloni?” She joked.

Saloni said with pleading eyes,”Sis, please tell me the secret of your happiness, honestly?”

Kumud arched her eyebrows and with a smirk replied,”Oh my God, seriously? You came all the way here to ask me this? You could have simply called.”

“No, then how would I come to know whether you are lying or speaking the truth. You know I’m a pro in reading body language.”

Kumud then made her sister sit down, offered her tea and said, ” The secret of my happiness is that I have started loving myself.”

Saloni had a question mark in her eyes.

Kumud continued,”You remember how unhappy I was in the initial years of my marriage. I did not have any problem with my husband as such, but I somehow felt that he was not paying attention to my needs. He was a workaholic at that time and he still is. But I was totally dependent on him to make me happy. So I was always dissatisfied. I always wanted more and more. Then, when our daughter was born, our priorities changed completely. Again, I felt as if I was being left out. I would always be sad and complaining. You have bore the brunt of it, I hope you remember Saloni.”

Saloni said, “Yes sis, I remember your late night calls, bawling your way for hours together. So, what happened then? How did you start loving yourself?”

Kumud replied, “It’s very easy actually. If you love yourself, you are not dependent on anyone to make you happy. You make yourself happy. The day I realised this, my life has changed completely. Initially, I would totally rely on my husband; like he will take me out to a restaurant or movie or a picnic. But when he wouldn’t, I would feel devastated. So, what I do now, is I don’t rely on him. If I want to watch a movie, I ask him. If he says no, I go alone. Or take my daughter or any friend or whoever is free and wants to come. Similarly, if I want to try a new cuisine in a new restaurant and husband is not free, I go alone. Basically, I do all those things that make me happy. I go to the beach, I go for long drives. This doesn’t mean that I don’t love him or he doesn’t love me, he too joins me whenever possible. And the best thing is, he doesn’t stop me from doing these things that I love. He knows that he can’t be there with me always and he is at the peak of his career now and he is very content with the way everything is going. And one more thing Saloni, why do you want to take the obligation of your husband or anyone else for that matter to make you happy?”

“You are so right sis. It’s high time that I take charge of my own life.” Saloni said.

Kumud replied, “You are already doing what you love to; dance and teaching others too.. So now, learn to love yourself and be happy always!”

Never give the responsibility of your happiness to others. Love yourself and be happy.

This is true for both; men and women and for all ages too.

Author’s note: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.