Posted in mom's life, Parenting

My son’s best friends

My four year old and me were having a casual conversation about his school one evening. He becomes very excited and animated whenever he talks about his school and his friends. He kept on talking about what he did, what toys he played, what he painted and other things that he did with his friends. Then he said, “Mamma, D is not my best friend now.”

“Oh. Is it? So, A must be your best friend then”, I told him. 

“No, nobody in school is my best friend.” He told me looking very sad.

“So, who is your best friend then?” I enquired.

He pouted at me, thought a lot and suddenly his face was lit with joy when he said, “It’s Peppa and Sam! They are my best friends.”

Of course I knew who Peppa and Sam were, but to know about his fondness for them to the extent that he considered them as his best friends was shocking for me. But in a good way.

He is not fond of watching TV per se, but I allow him 30 to 45 minutes of screen time on my phone where he watches whatever he wants on you tube. Earlier, he used to watch all sorts of nursery rhymes and ‘Ryan’s toy reviews’. He would sometimes imitate what Ryan would do with his toys in the video. But lately, he is become very fond of Peppa pig and Sam, the fireman.

He watches Peppa’s adventures with so much interest, it is quite fascinating to see him like that. In fact, he introduced me to peppa pig and her family. I wasn’t aware about such a character myself. Similarly with Sam, the fireman. He watches Sam as he goes off in his fire brigade with his colleagues helping all those people in trouble in the town of Pontypandy.

Some days, when he is very engrossed in playing with his toys, I just observe him. He role plays the characters he loves. He calls himself Peppa and his little brother George. And then he imitates them. Drives his toy fire brigade and pretends he is Sam, and goes to save Norman Price with Penny and Elvis! Sometimes, he makes a garden with his lego blocks and plays with George and Rebecca rabbit! It is truly fascinating to watch him like that. The way he talks to himself, pretending to be the characters himself; it’s truly amazing. But the moment he catches me watching him, he abandons everything, starts laughing and runs out of the room! 

I really enjoy watching him play with his ‘best friends’ or rather imitate them and I have learnt to be discreet while he is at ‘work’.

Yesterday, as he was going to school, he told me, “Bye bye Mommy pig.. see you later..”

“Bye Peppa, take care,” I replied.

Then I told him, “No, wait. You are not Peppa. Peppa is a girl, but you are a boy. So now what shall we do?”

After thinking for a while, we came up with a solution. “Dear, let’s name you ‘Peppo’. So now, you are peppo pig and we are all your family members!” I told him.

He was so happy with his ‘new name’ that he literally went skipping to school!

He really has a wonderful time playing and imitating his best friends. Do your kids enjoy their play time with their best friends? Who are their favourite cartoon characters? Do let me know in the comments section below!

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 

Pic courtesy : Google images 

Advertisements
Posted in mom's life, Personal

5 things that changed in me post motherhood 

It’s been eight glorious years since I got married, and four years since I became a mother. Over the last decade I have seen myself transform from the very shy, introvert girl to a little less shy and a little more outgoing woman.

But there are a few things that have changed a lot since I became a mother.

1. Cooking skills: Before marriage, I hardly entered the kitchen. After marriage, I learnt to cook some basic stuff and after becoming a mother, I’m always in the kitchen! Every day I try to make something that looks more interesting and appealing to my kids. I still can’t make round chapatis though! But that’s alright I think, because my kids now know all their shapes extremely well. (even those that do not exist!)

2. Memory: Earlier, I used to be known for my photographic memory, but now? Phew! If I don’t make a list of ‘to do’ things for the day, I end up missing half of them! And the worst thing is, I forget that I have put something on the stove for cooking! The end result being burnt rice, spilled milk and other things which I cannot even describe. So, I have to make sure that I finish off my kitchen work before doing anything else. Also, the next time I forget your name, please excuse me!!

3. Fashion sense: Before motherhood, I enjoyed dressing up everyday. Of course I still do, but considering the presence of a preschooler and a toddler around me it becomes a herculean task! My fashion sense has transformed from ‘a lovely outfit with matching jewellery, a nice hairstyle and heels’ to ‘grab what I can outfit with no jewellery, hairstyle not interfering with line of vision and flats’! I know that is just a matter of time and once they are are little older, I can resume my fashion centric activities!

4. Patience: I’ve realised the true meaning of patience only after I became a mother. Earlier, I would be the one telling others to ‘be patient and calm down’ among other things. But now, I hear this almost everyday! Such a drastic change! I try very hard to control my temper every day, but sometimes it just blows. Blessed are those souls who can truly contain their anger and be patient with their kids!

5. Time management: I never knew I could multitask. Actually, it was never needed before. And not just simple multitasking. Literally following the hands of the clock on a minute to minute basis! Any delay of more than a minute affects the entire day. And also decreases my ‘me time’ which I simply cannot miss or else I would go insane! So, following the hands of a clock seems a better idea. It works most of the time. Some things are unpredictable, not in my hands, and since I can’t do much about them, I simply go with the flow! I feel that learning to manage my time is a gift that motherhood has given me.

So, what changes have you seen in yourself post motherhood?

Author’s note: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 

Pic courtesy: Google images 

Posted in health issues, mom's life

Can I get a sick leave please?

The wife had a very restless sleep all night and found it very difficult to wake up when the alarm went off at 6.15 am. ‘Duty calls’, she thought. After freshening up, she realized that she is running a temperature. ‘Oh no!’ She cried. She kept the tea for brewing, and started searching for some paracetamol. As soon as the tea was ready, she took the pill and ate some biscuits. And then she proceeded for her daily routine. Woke up the older son, made him ready for school, gave him breakfast and finally she sat down. And all the while, the husband was blissfully sleeping completely unaware of her predicament.

‘Screw his beauty sleep!’ She thought. And so she went and woke him up and told him to drop off the son to school. The husband instantly understood that something is wrong as the wife never does that. He did as told without arguing.

The second they left, the wife was relieved. ‘Now I can rest a bit’, she thought. The moment she went to lie down, son number 2, who was still a toddler came crying, ‘mum.. mum..’ 

Aarrghhh’, she cried. ‘Couldn’t he sleep for a few minutes more for one day?’ She thought to herself. Now she was imagining her toddler with two horns on his head and giving her a devilish smile and telling her, ‘No mum, I was born to harass you’.

She shook the thoughts aside and tended to his needs. When the husband was back, he offered to take care of the toddler and asked her to rest for some time.

But where could she rest? The moment she lay down, she again started thinking about the things left to be done. And she almost got a heart attack thinking if the maid Madam decided to skip her work today. ‘No no no no.. please God, please God.. let her come today..’ She started praying frantically.

The husband was amused watching her and asked her what was going on. She told him what she was praying for. He laughed out loud and then told her, ‘Don’t worry, I’m taking a leave today. I have put a sick leave. You rest.’

The wife said, ‘Lucky you. Why can’t I get a sick leave? Even when I’m not well I have a hundred things to look after. If I’m resting physically, I’m going mad mentally!’

How she wished that she could rest mentally as well. Always on her toes, doing multiple things at a time and supervising the maid as well, she definitely needed a break. ‘But not by falling sick,’ She thought. ‘It is so irritating to fall sick. I can’t do much. But I’m constantly worried. What are my sons doing? What have they eaten? Who supervised the maid? Did she do her work properly?’ All these thoughts were on her mind constantly.

The wife was relieved about only one thing. As she was self employed, she din’t need to worry about going to work. Just a call to her assistant and things would be handled.

But she felt good that at least her husband volunteered to help her out on her sick day! Otherwise, she would have only two options. Either pray to never fall sick at all or fall sick so badly that hospitalization becomes necessary. Anything in between would be disastrous!

But being at peace mentally was solely in her hands. So she decided to let go of all her worries for at least that day and take rest as much as she can. Leave the house and kids on the husband and maid. Let them do whatever they want to. With that thought in mind, she went into a deep slumber.

So moms, do you get a sick leave?

 

Pic courtesy: Google images

Author’s note: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.

Posted in mom's life, Parenting

Tell me more, why why why?

It’s been three and a half years since I was blessed with my first son and I embraced motherhood.

The first year with him was terrifying yet amazing. Learning to breastfeed him and later learning to wean him off! From changing his diapers to bathing him, from charting all his ‘firsts’ to see him grow every single day has been an amazing journey.

Then came the next two years or the infamous toddler years. Sweet mamma became monster mamma. From yelling to throwing things to crying; we did them together! He started running, talking and talking and talking. Mamma stopped talking, but he would never and still doesn’t.

Now, in his fourth year, he thinks mamma is a living encyclopedia. So, everyday mamma has to brace herself for the storm of questions that may come her way absolutely out of the blue and at the most unexpected times. Sometimes, I literally dread his questions!

“Mamma, why is it raining?”

“Why did the rain stop?”

“Why is the sky blue?”

“Why is the crow black?”

“Why do we sleep?”

“Why do we eat food?”

Tell me more.. Why why why?

So, each day when I’m bombarded with all such questions, I try my best to answer them. And those which I can’t, I tell him that mamma will tell you tomorrow. I do not want to feed him the wrong information as it is very difficult to unlearn at their age. Sometimes, I feel like diverting him to his dad, but then I avoid doing that as he expects me to tell him the answers. Of course I help him to ask some amazing questions to his dad as well. 😉

Recently, he has learnt a new thing. Whoever goes to pick him up from school, he asks ‘why this person has not come’? For example, if his grandfather goes to pick him up, he will ask that why mamma din’t come? If I go to pick him up, he will ask why papa has not come? And so on.

In school, they are being taught to write standing lines and sleeping lines. So now, he comes home and asks me, “Mamma, why are standing lines standing?” And also, “Why are sleeping lines sleeping?”

And I’m left dumbstruck with his questions.

So here, I take your leave to figure out the answers to his amazing questions! Adios!

 

Pic courtesy: Google images

Author’s note: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.

Posted in mom's life, Parenting

When my son taught me ‘sharing is caring’

When my elder son had turned two, we had him enrolled in a playschool and from that time onwards, they were taught concepts of sharing. Right from sharing toys to their snacks; they were taught everything.

And then as he entered nursery, the concepts were reinforced. And additionally, he assumed the role of an older brother. So, it was drilled into him that he should share his toys with his younger one.

But, he only shared his stuff when he was in the mood to. And we did not pressure him either. And he shares his stuff only when he is requested to do so and not forced. 

I would like to explain this with an example.

He has about a dozen or so collection of cars of various sizes. So when I tell him to give a few of them to his younger brother, he refuses flatly. “These are all mine.” He says.

On the other hand, when I tell him, “Please, dear. See he is your younger brother. He is so small. Give him one or two cars to play with. Atleast for some time? Please will you share them with him?” After about 5 minutes, he willingly gives his cars to his brother and tells me, “See mamma, I’m sharing my toys!” And all of us are happy!

Similarly, even when we are out, say on a beach and he is playing with his sand toys, a few kids who do not have them come and try to take the bucket or the spade. So I simply tell them to not take the toys forcibly and instead just sit around for some time. And then, my son willingly shares those sand toys with the other kids. Again, everyone is happy and he has new friends to play with too!

One day, my mom had come over to play with the kids. And as I was searching for some ingredients to make her something, I came across a gulab jamun which was the only one remaining. Ideally, I should offer it to my mom, as she was the guest. But, there was only one gulab jamun remaining and it was too tempting to resist. As I was contemplating what to do, my mom came in the kitchen. And she saw it too. Both of us are mad behind sweets. As soon as she took it, I yelled, “No! That’s mine!”

For a moment, she was shocked as to what happened. But then she realised why I was shouting. And we both started arguing as to who should eat it. Hearing all the commotion in the kitchen, my elder son came in. And when he saw what we were fighting about, he did something exceptional.

He took the gulab jamun and broke it into two halves. He gave one to me and the other to his nani. He looked at me and told me, “Sharing is caring mamma! Remember?” And he went off to do his stuff.

Both of us were speechless at what he did. It was so heartwarming to see him do that. I was so proud of him!

I would like to sincerely thank his playgroup and nursery teachers for instilling this concept in him so well that he actually implemented it in a real life situation!

 

Pic courtesy: Google images

Author’s note: This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.

Posted in mom's life, short story

Are you having an extramarital affair?

After a really long time, I was finally going to catch up with my childhood friend, Neetu. We had decided to meet at a nearby cafe near our school. Both of us were very excited to see each other. It had been years since we last met, though we were constantly in touch with each other through calls and messages. 

As I entered the cafe, I spotted her in a light blue dress and looking as radiant as ever. We hugged each other and both of us were bubbling with joy upon seeing each other. Then we started talking about what all we missed in each other’s life in the past few years. I told her about my crazy days managing two boys and my profession. Neetu was a dentist by profession, and was very good at her work. But, for an otherwise chirpy girl, she was unusually quiet that day.

I asked her, “Neetu, are you alright?”

There were tears in her eyes when I asked her that.

“Neetu, please tell me what’s wrong? You can share what ever you want with me dear.”

“Arva, you know what, I’m sick and tired of my life.. At every point in my life, there’s someone or the other ready to taunt me and interfere in whatever I do. I just can’t take it anymore.”

I then told her, “Please calm down Neetu, and tell me what exactly is the problem.”

“You know Arva, now I can’t even talk to my guy friends freely, thanks to my so called extended family. Gaurav, even though is my husband and has no problem with that, but the others definitely do. I have a very good friend, Vishal, he is actually the husband of Gaurav’s cousin. We keep calling each other every now and then and we also chat on WhatsApp almost everyday. We share our day to day banters and we have many common interests. So we enjoy talking to each other. So, once in a family gathering, my mother in law’s sister asked me in hushed voices that am I having an extramarital affair with Vishal? To say I was shocked would be an understatement. I mean how can she ask me something like that? I don’t care how she came to know that I even talk to him, but seriously? How can she judge me like that? Okay forget her Arva, what was more shocking was my mother in law then told me to stop talking to him. I reiterated that I haven’t done anything wrong and I will not stop talking to him. So, I left from there with Gaurav.”

Neetu continued,”Then, at home I told Gaurav everything that happened and I also told Priya, Vishal’s wife all that happened in the gathering. They both assured me that I have done nothing wrong and we can talk to each other to our hearts content. Then, after a few days, my mother in law told me that it’s high time that we have a baby now. As when I get a baby, I will not get time to talk to other girls’ husbands. I mean, how lame is that? Gaurav and me are married for 5 years, but we both are not ready for a baby still. What irks me more is the way they judge you. Befriending other guys even after marriage, not having a baby; are all my choices. If my husband has no issues with that, he doesnt judge me for my choices, then why does everyone else have to interfere? I’m so frustrated and annoyed by all this. And the way they look at me.. I can’t even describe.. like I have committed some sin!”

Neetu was visibly relaxed after she poured out her feelings to me. She said,”Thank you so much for listening to me Arva. I’m feeling much better now.”

“That’s what friends are for, dear. You don’t worry so much. Concentrate on your career and family. Don’t get upset with such things. People who matter to you know how you are, what you are. They know the truth. So why bother about others. Others will keep judging you for everything that you do; whether good or bad. They will not stop. So you don’t spoil your mood because of them. Ignore them. Trust me, I have been through all of this and much more. In fact; the day I stopped reacting to such people, they stopped judging me for my choices. And some still do, but I just ignore them. I only do what I want to do. So it is all upto you. Enjoy your life.”

Neetu was indeed much better after our conversation and we had a gala time reliving our childhood memories and school days. We then parted ways with more promises of catching up often and the next time, I was supposed to get both my kids with me! I wonder how will I manage that. Well, only time will tell.!

Pic courtesy : Google images 

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform. 

Posted in mom's life, short story

The scariest minute of my life!!

After I got married, my husband would take me out for a walk in the evenings everyday, so that I would get acquainted with the area. And I really enjoyed those walks exploring the lanes and by lanes in the heart of the city.

So one evening, when my husband was out of town, I decided to go alone. I had left home just before sunset and was dressed in a loose kurta with pockets and jeans. I had intended to buy some fruits on the way back home.

I had a really good time looking at the various shops and restaurants. I even bargained at a vendor who was selling fruits and told him I will collect them on my way back home. I was so engrossed in exploring that I din’t realise when the twilight turned into night. Then, I decided to head back home.

But I must have taken a wrong turn as I found myself in an eerily quiet lane. When I saw the time, it was just 8 pm; but there wasn’t a single soul around. No street lights too. It was a totally commercial area, so I thought maybe that’s why it’s so quiet as all offices are shut. I had reached halfway through the lane by then. So I decided to turn around and go back to the main road. Suddenly, I heard some jingling sounds. So, I turned back to see. But there was no one.

As I started walking further, the jingling sound continued. Again, I turned back to see, but there was no one.

Now, I started sweating, and my heart rate began to rise. So, I increased my pace. The sound increased too. When I would stop, the sound would stop. I was literally jogging then and I could see the lights of the road just a few feet away; but the jingling sound also increased. I was extremely scared now. I had tears in my eyes as I couldn’t figure out what was happening. I sprinted those few feet onto the main road and I kept running paying no heed to the people, or to the traffic. I kept running until I reached home.

I was sobbing and panting when I entered the house. My mother in law got very worried looking at me soaked in sweat and tears and offered me a glass of water. She then told me to calm down and asked me what happened. I managed to tell her the incident in between sobs. Then she told me that I must have entered the ‘haunted lane’. She said that nobody goes there after sunset as weird incidents happen there all the time. I simply did not have the stamina to argue with her, so I went to my room to change.

As I started emptying the pockets of my jeans and Kurta, I saw that there were at least 15-20 five and ten rupee coins that came out from my Kurta pocket. I remembered putting them in the pockets as I had wanted to buy fruits and the vendors usually ask for change. That’s when I put two and two together and started laughing at my sillyness. My mother in law came to my room hearing me laugh as just seconds before I was crying. I then told her, “Don’t worry, I am not possessed by any evil spirit just because I entered that ‘haunted lane’. I figured out what that jingling noise was.”

“What are you talking about?” she asked.

I then told her, “Mom, I was wearing a loose kurta that had 15-20 coins in the pockets. And the lane was very very quiet. So what happened was, I heard those coins jingling. As I ran, they made more noise. And as I stopped, the sound stopped. So that was the secret of the jingling sound.”

But whether that lane was ‘haunted’ or no, I don’t know and I don’t want to know either, as that one minute that I was in that lane was the scariest minute of my life.!!

P.S.: The above blog is inspired by my late Nanaji, who had a similar incident during his younger days.


Pic Courtesy : Google images

Author’s note : This post first appeared on mycity4kids parenting platform.